As a man, in today’s world I see so much opportunity for self-growth and self-connection. It’s clear there is so much work to be done, yet it can be done with joyful surrender. 

Despite all the distractions and challenges, there is so much beauty and love to be had for those who commit to going within. 

Men today are remembering this sacred power of self-connection. I think it's this that is going to unf#ck the planet. Less ego, more heart, and connection.

Everything in life is within. This inner kingdom is where we manifest and project our reality. It is the garden in which we bear the fruits of life for ourselves, our family, and our earth.  

To ‘know thyself’ is the task each human being is asked of in this life, I feel. Yet, reality has most people chasing the external. Wandering and worshipping after the external. It all begins and ends within. 

It is so important to connect with yourself, every day, every moment. Every choice and action. 

As a man, I have a responsibility to really know myself and to care for myself. By doing that I can then move out into the world with clarity, potency, and impact.

 How do I do this? 

By cleaning myself out - in mind, body and spirit. By becoming aware of what I am carrying within my psyche through conditioning and experiences. To detox myself and do the hard changes for a better life.

From this, I can start to unpack that which isn’t life-giving, nourishing, and true for me. I can heal what needs healing and deeply connect with my sense of purpose and meaning. 

Something which is a deeply personal thing, it is not driven externally. I learned early on in my life that titles, objects, and other's validation doesn’t fill me up inside. I have to love myself, for being myself. 

Myself is the only place I will ever live so I better get good at listening to it. 

That became clear once I knew I was lying to myself working in an industry (app development/ investment) that wasn’t in my heart. It was tearing me up and making me physically and psychically sick.

So the slow process of unpacking a life, and turning it around into a completely different direction had to happen. 

Which ended up being, yoga teaching for kids and adults, meditation and surf instructing, combined with online life coaching, writing, and audio guides. It’s early days but I am so much happier and stronger for it.

As a man, I feel so incredibly grateful and indeed lucky to be wired intuitively. 

As men listening to our hearts, feeling our emotions and connecting to our inner world becomes clearer once we start to run into a few of life’s knocks. 

Accidents, illnesses, mental health challenges, business failures and relationship disconnects.

All of which, for me, were like ‘stop signs’ telling me to slow down, reassess my life and listen to my heart and soul. 

Life is very much like that, our higher self-talks to us through our challenges. It speaks to us through our obstacles, dis-eases, and our heartbreaks.

Over time, and a lot of work it became easier and I got better at actually feeling my feelings.

Rather than avoiding them, intellectualising them, explaining them and describing them. Which for a man is pretty common. 

Women listen up..

As men, to actually have to learn how to feel is a massive breakthrough. It was until my late twenties I realised I was living in my head, disconnected from my emotional body.

To identify an emotion, a subconscious program or a traumatic experience as a feeling was hard.

To allow myself to settle into a specific energy, the sensations it brings up in the body and to be like:

‘Oh, ok this is viscerally uncomfortable and it has to do with this thing and it feels like this emotion. This is the reason why I am behaving a certain way."

Then to know it, and not use it as an excuse but work on it. It's now out of the blind spot of my awareness but still needs to be felt and released.

Shame, guilt, disgust, rage, sadness, hurt, betrayal - are just some of the of human emotions we all deal with. All have to be felt to be removed.

As human beings, we store our e-motion, the motions of emotional energy, in our body. 

The physiology of our body locks in our emotional trauma, big or small, the body holds it. It literally seizes up and stores it in order to process it.

The ancients knew this, especially in the East. They knew the liver held rage, the heart and lungs held grief and sadness.

It wasn’t until I saw the 'stories' in my own injuries, aliments, dysfunctions and patternings that I was motivated to transmute them. 

This may seem out there to people who just see their body as a mechanical vehicle. Rather than as an extension of their energy, or a manifestation of their spirit.

Quantum physics has already provided that energy moves from subtle to gross. In other words, it's the field that creates the matter. Not the matter that creates the field.

Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about this and I have covered it in my e-book 'A Guide To The Self', inspired by my own direct experiences from applying the yogic sciences. 

As a man, I really see the need to unwind our own emotional blockages and unwanted programs. This is done through feelings, there is no way around it. So if you need to get the tissue box out go for it.

Once we clear this out we can operate at a higher, more authentic level. This is some of the work I help men do now through my Hartspace.org programs. It's an incredible gift to give yourself. The gift of feeling and being true to yourself.

There is never a rush in this inner work, I realised that. It’s like dealing with this ‘inner child’ people talk about. Being present and letting it ask for what it needs is as simple as it sounds. 

For many men that’s a hard thing to do.

To put your hands on your heart and say “how are you feeling today. What do you need me to do”.

When you do that you get a clear answer. Listening to it saves so much hassle. 

Our 'Role' 

As a man, I see our role as holding the masculine foundation for women to feel safe, comfortable, and held. So they can unfurl into their fullest potential as conduits of the feminine life force. It sounds spiritual because it is, that's what we are, soulful spirits in flesh and bone. 

Every being is different. Every being has a masculine and feminine aspect of themselves. The more I connected into my inner feminine the stronger and distinctive my masculine became.

Having this awareness means co-creating with a partner in equal harmony. To do that, I need to be able to meet my partner to the best of my abilities. 

Therefore I have a duty to meet myself. Meet my limitations, fears, blocks, and continue to check-in and connect with myself, as I do her.

A large part of the way I live my life is to see the role my ancestors play in my life. By being here today, healthy, well, and happy I am the realisation of their dreams, prayers and visions. Everything I do, I carry them forward with me. What I heal, I heal for them. 

 Everything I do in my life honors that and I do everything in my power to create from a place of love and awareness. 

Awareness that the choices I make will impact my future generations. The children I am yet to have, the partner I am yet to be with, the elder I am to become.

We are Master Creator beings and it's with that awareness that I live my life. If I’m not happy with my life I’ll pass that on to my kids.

All of it is a beautiful gift that I was able to learn to appreciate in my twenties. Now thirty, I have been working hard to orientate myself into my truth, so I have no doubt about who I am or what I want.

That is a big reward of connecting to yourself. To strip away at the should do and ought to do and get down to the want to do and called to do.

Coming Into Self-Connection

It took a lot of failure, in business, in career choices, and even relationships to find an honest path. A path where I am receiving spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical nourishment. A path where the challenges become strengths. 

To be totally honest, I was a bit of a big baby until my mid to late twenties. Many men are in fact young boys, with the consciousness of around twelve years old. Heavily interdependent. Once I realised that it was a humbling awakening to get my stuff in order. 

By that I don’t just mean finances, it’s everything. The quality of my communication, the presence I can hold for my family and friends. The awareness of being in non-judgment, and being comfortable in my own skin.

It's standing alone or in a group and feeling myself, with my ego in check, seeing everyone else as equals. Comfortable to go with the flow or lead the charge, all coming from a place of what feels right for me. In doing so serving others. 

The great gift this self-connection has brought me is the deep awareness of the choice of lifestyle that feels natural.

Now, it's just me but at some point, it will be a family.

So while I build that 'dream lifestyle' I may as well get comfortable in discomfort.

Constantly leveling up, learning, and improving. Being stoked when the risks come off and being humble enough to learn from mentors or elders and reassess.

Being aware of this natural desire to drive and create, to lead. That ironically is by listening. To myself, and others.

For example, I love surfing, I also love the adrenaline of surfing bigger challenging waves. 

If I don’t commit to that experience, and honor that part of me that wants to take a risk I won’t feel as connected to myself, to the Creator who has given me that experience.  

The same goes for heading out into the bush alone and connecting in with nature, or completing a sweat lodge or ceremony. They are a part of my life, of what makes me feel connected.

A lot of my friends did the traditional route and have a really comfortable and routine life.

To be able to have the courage to take risks early in life, in business, in travel and all the rest is a gift. The learning experiences are massive, and to be honest, it revealed my naivety in how easy life is.

Building anything that is worthwhile and can last a few knocks requires work. But if that’s what I want there is no alternative.

Support

Having the support of an incredible mother, and father along with my brothers and a handful of good mates is a blessing. No way could I have done it without them.

Even after a quarter-life crisis, career changes, some mental funks, and chalking up some losses I always have a house or a couch to head back to. There is no shame at 'starting over'. Humility is a big part of connecting with yourself I believe. 

So many men are trying to build empires on shifting sands. They act one way elsewhere and are someone else at home, completely incongruent. It’s all about the foundation.

To know where you come from and who you are. It helps keep me focused on the now and where I am going. For me, the best way to sum it up is as follows.

The Measuring Stick

It’s the way I feel when I am alone and no one is watching that tells me who I am. The steady calmness, where my mind is still and I know I am exactly where I need to be. Doing what I love.

It’s the same if I’m facilitating a workshop or on a call or working with a group of kids. It’s a sense of deep connection, that there is nowhere else to be. 

There is a Buddhist parable that I learned at my first Vipassana retreat, shared by the beautiful teacher S. N. Goenka. It spoke of a person digging a well in search of water.

If the person is digging and does not feel the sides of the walls getting wet then they can change and start digging diligently elsewhere. However, they can't keep changing, they have to commit to digging deep enough to uncover the water.

If they merely stay at the surface of searching, going here, going there, then they will never reach the water. It's ok to change what feels right for you but once you have it honor it.

This specifically referred to choosing a spiritual tradition and faith, but it also applies to a lifestyle or a life mission. It may take a few times to get it right but once you have it, go all in and don't look back. 

Moving Forward

Upon seeing the recent developments in the world it’s confirmed to me that I’m on path. Supporting others, men and women in getting themselves into gear and getting into the game of life.

In making the 'mundane more magical' and creating a deeply personal and sacred life. One that is infused with purpose and meaning even if you only get x amount of hours to yourself after a full day's work.

The truth is we are eternal beings here to evolve our soul. We will keep coming back and back until we work on everything that we need to. We are here to learn and grow in our uniqueness.

So my approach is to get onto that wave and start riding it, joyfully. I breakdown how to do this in my upcoming book 'Un#uck Your Life - With Heart and Soul'. 

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION!

In closing, no matter what happens in the external world you have a choice to be clear, focused, and sovereign with a path ahead. Especially in uncertain times. You always have a choice. So get creative and connect into yourself and see what you will find.

Odds are humanity needs it...

In Greatness and Responsibility,

Alistair Hart